Now I'm Understanding

I never knew church planting was such a journey toward self-understanding as well as others understanding as well as understanding Jesus.  For me it's a journey in discipleship (which I guess I should have known but now I am more fully beginning to understand this).  I'm learning how many spiritual things I need to practice, not because they make Jesus love me more, (which is impossible according to the bible), but because they just make life better, sanity more realized, and help me want to treat others the way they deserve to be treated (the way Jesus treats them).  

I'm learning lots of logistical things.  Things I thought I knew how to do.  I'm learning how much faster the clock seems to run and how efficiency really is not a constant but runs in spurts.  

I'm learning that there are certain things that are much harder for me than I ever anticipated.  

I'm learning that relationship building is the world's slowest, and yet most necessary process.  Forget for a moment about starting a church.  It just takes time to get to know people.  This isn't simcity (a computer game simulation where you control a world by constructing people and their lives, or a city for them to live) where you can speed up the clock to make things work faster or more effectively.  

And especially for today.  Even though I'm committed to the model we've chosen of life groups before public launch, I am understanding why nearly every church planting resource I know of says, "don't start small groups until after you've launched weekends."  My good friend Joe and I were discussing this this morning.  It's just so hard to differentiate the purposes for which people connect with you in group life.  Some are there just to get to know other people.  Some are there to hear about what you're doing.  Some are there because they've committed to what you're doing together.  Some are wondering, "well this is all well and good but don't we have plans to put together to get this baby into the world?"  And it's really tough to navigate all those waters when people come together, and we're only in week one!  Now our intent is to keep the "planning" separate from the life group.  And in practice that can be done.  But when people are coming to your entry point from different places, that differentiation is harder than I thought.  And this is going to be one of those entries that doesn't tidy up at the end.  I don't have an answer/solution for this paradox right now.  That's probably a part of the little knot in my stomach I'm feeling.  That and week 2 of life group is coming...and it's kinda like launch Sunday...you know where you really are beginning when week 2 rolls around.  Week 1=Curiosity, week 2=reality!

This obviously is not an all-encompassing list of everything I'm learning.  I'm also learning that while I'm forever a Mac guy, they do have a couple of faults.  I haven't resolved at least one of those either.  So, we journey forward into the darkness in several ways, hoping and believe that the Lord will illuminate the path at least a little bit ahead.  He has several times before, so I'm trusting we're not wandering blindly this time either.